So you have been dating someone for more than five years and you are absolutely sure that he is the one you would be spending the rest of your life with. You make plans with him and look forward to the future with him. Then suddenly everything turns sour and before you know it, you’re breaking up with the person you’ve been with for so long.
The biggest challenge here is not when to stop crying but to relearn all the things you’ve gotten accustomed to doing with him. Being with a person for a long time takes a toll with your routine and the way you do things. When you wake up, suddenly you don’t know what to do anymore and how to go about your daily activities since you have been so used to have a partner in life.
First thing that you should do is try to look at the bright side. Easy to say but hard to do yes, but there is no other way. Instead of thinking that you wasted 5 years of your life for something that ended in a split second, focus instead on the fact that you were saved from all the intricacies of divorce if ever you two got married and the inevitable happened when you two already tied the knot.
Getting over a long relationship like that may take months or even years to accomplish. The key here is to take baby steps. Like a drug, relationships are very difficult to shrug off. Start the process of healing by indulging in a good movie, good food and surround yourself with a lot of friends. The important part here is that you get to feel that you’re not alone. Also it would be nice if your friends could stop talking about your failed relationship and instead focus on the things that you will all do together as a group. Constantly talking about the failed relationship might give you a sense of urgency that you would want to get back together with him to return things back to the way it was.
In line of this thought, you should learn that there is no going back to the way it was. If ever he does come back, things will never be the same again. You would be filled with paranoia everytime you have an argument and there will always be this impending doom that he will leave you. So the best way to deal with this is to accept that things will start changing, only for the better.
Sign up for classes that may keep you busy. The more active it is the better. You can sign up for dance class or train for a certain sport. The activities your body will go through tend to keep your mind off being idle and therefore off from thinking about your relationship. Acceptance is the first step to healing and you shouldn’t rush it.