No matter who it was that decided to end the relationship, it is hard to get over a long term relationship breakup. Some people fall into the trap of thinking that their ex was their one and only and that they will never be happy with anyone else. This kind of thinking, while it is very understandable, is not helpful and you can end up trapped in that mindset. It can lead to depression and you can actually make yourself much more miserable than the actual breakup did.
The first thing to do when you are trying to get over a long term relationship breakup is to accept that the pain and sadness is part of a grieving process. The death of a relationship, like the death of a person, takes time to work through and there are stages you will go through. You’ll go through denial, anger and work your way through all the stages until you get to acceptance. Once you are able to get to that point, you’ll see that there are many others you could possibly be happy with.
Depression is a natural response but try not to stay there too long. Anger is natural too. In fact, it’s natural for you to feel such pain you want to get revenge on an ex or do something to hurt them. This isn’t constructive, especially if you act on it. While it can help you get through the healing process, anger can hurt you if you stay angry too long. Try to work past that as soon as you can. Denial can be a terrible stage, because you don’t want to admit that your lover is gone. It takes time to get used to them being out of your life but you can do it. Just remember that time heals all wounds and if you give yourself time and focus on other things in your life that are important to you, you’ll be able to get over a breakup in no time. Every person is different, so don’t compare yourself to your friend who ended a three-year relationship and is dating again within days when you haven’t recovered from a relationship that ended nine months ago. Give yourself time and heal at your own pace.